One of the fundamental tools I learned early on in recovery was HONESTY. It is key to any healing, growth and recovery. As an active addict—I lied. I told white lies that I thought were harmless and I told major lies that I knew were destructive. I lied about little things and I lied about big things. I strung together a laundry line of lies that got so tangled by the end of it that I couldn’t tell fact from my created fiction. The lies were a part of keeping my addiction alive and kicking. The lies were built from my disease. The lies kept me in denial and everyone else on the defense. I thought the lies protected me. Instead they destroyed me and others.

In recovery—it’s all about honesty on every level for me today. I am not going to lie and say that in my 10+ years I haven’t told little white lies. I have. I am human. I have lied to myself at times most of the time. When I have the difference is that I do a full tenth step on my wrong doings today and make them right as soon as possible. I am for the most part a very brutally honest person. I know my honesty is a touchstone to my recovery. Honesty is the crux of my program. It keeps my heart clear. It keeps my mind open. And most importantly it keeps my side of the street clean.

This topic is of importance to me today because I am witnessing my brother who has about seven years clean time lying again. It is killing me. His active addict is rearing its ugly head all over the place. He is being deceptive—which goes hand-in-hand with lying. After all one must lie to deceive. It is breaking my heart.

I see it as the first step towards a drink. This is a thinking disease way before it is a drinking disease. This I know. It starts in the brain. The brain can be the ultimate liar and deceiver for a recovering person.

Part of my program today is to love him unconditionally and in that love I must call him to the carpet. He won’t like it. I have been down this road with him before. Staring down his addict eye-to-eye and knowing I am fighting a losing battle. However, in order for my own recovery to be in tact and for my side of the street to be clean—I must call him on it. Accountability. Another cornerstone of recovery.